⋅The Tragic End Result of Bullying: Bullycide⋅
In our line of work, we deal with tragedy, heartbreak, and families torn apart by unthinkable horror on a daily basis. It’s an intrinsic part of my job. At the scenes we are called to clean up, most of the victims are adults. Rarely do crime-scenes or suicides involve children – except in the case of the child who is a victim of bullying and then in abject desperation takes his own life, a not-so-rare occurrence any more, but probably the most shocking and traumatizing for the family and also for the crime-scene cleaners. Suicides as a results of bullying, labeled “bullycide”, have been on the rise in recent years, but witnessing the torment these kids went through before taking their lives, the anguish and heartbreak in their parents’ eyes – that never gets easier.
Bullycides Can Happen Anywhere
All we were told by dispatch was that we would be responding to a suicide with possible pathogen hazards, meaning there would be blood, other bodily fluids, and tissue. The home in which the suicide occurred was located in the extremely affluent suburb of Buckhead, just north of Atlanta, Georgia. The cheapest home in this subdivision would sell for well over two million dollars. All the kids go to pricey private schools whose yearly tuitions are higher than a public school teacher’s salary. All the parents have incomes in the high triple digits and sit on the board of directors for the Atlanta Opera, the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra, or the Atlanta Ballet. Every home has a hired staff, which ranges from a yardman and a housekeeper to a full staff of 20 or more employees. It was the supervising housekeeper who met us at the door and asked us to park in the back “lot” and to use only the back entrance from this point forward. She then had one of the gardeners lead the way.
Magical Room Hides Nightmare Reality
When we entered the back of the house, the housekeeper met us and led us through the kitchen and instructed us to use only the back staircase at the far end of the kitchen. She then sent us upstairs with a maid, who led us to the room where the suicide occurred.
To our shock, it was a child’s room, lavishly decorated in an ocean theme with custom-made furniture designed to look like ocean artifacts, especially shark-related artifacts.
The twin bed was nestled inside the gaping jaws of a rare Pocket Shark. On the desk, built to look like a coral reef, sat several books about various ocean life and diving topics. On the wall opposite the door was an enormous and striking 200-gallon salt-water fish tank. The walls displayed photographs depicting stingrays, ragged tooth sharks, manta rays, lion fish, humpback whales, and coral reefs from all over the world. The maid pointed to the closet, designed to look like the entrance to an underwater cave, and said, “In there.”
We walked into the huge and eerily lit closet, which was the size of a room.
The special lighting and stunning visual effects in the closet made it look like you were under water surrounded by exotic fish, sharks, whales, dolphins, and coral reefs.
To examine the scene, we asked the maid to turn off the visual effects and turn on the overhead lighting, which revealed a horrific scene. The walls, ceiling, and clothes were covered in blood splatter. On the walls hung several more photographs depicting an 8 or 9-year-old boy standing next to an older man on a yacht and in diving suits under water, surrounded by stunning sea life. The photographs were splattered with blood and what appeared to be brain tissue. I couldn’t help but wonder what in the world could make such a young child, with all this immense privilege, take his own life like this.
Torey’s Heart Wrenching Story
“That’s Torey and his dad,” the maid said, smiling in a distant sort of way.
“They was on a diving trip in Sodwana Bay in South Africa last month. You can see Torey was a little chubby and he had bad buck teeth but he had just got his braces put on for that.”
She wiped at her eyes. “He wasn’t like other kids. He didn’t care nothing about soccer or hanging out. All he cared about was this stuff.” She made a sweeping gesture with her arms, taking in the whole room and closet. You could see that she was grief stricken.
She crossed her arms over her chest and hung her head. “I been knowing him since before he was born. I took care of him. He was such a sweet, quiet kid. And look what they done to him. It was bullying, plain and simple. Them kids was always bullying him, tormenting him, callin’ him a fat walrus, till he just couldn’t take it no more. They was just plain bullies. I seen him too many times come home from school and run straight up to his room and cry right here in this closet. Nothing I say make him feel better so we just sit here together in this closet sometimes sayin’ nothing. Wouldn’t tell him mom and dad. And they not around that much. Always working. It shoulda been them bullying kids you cleaning up after, not this sweet boy who never done nothing to no one.
He wouldn’t even kill a spider. He’d catch ‘em in a cup and carry ‘em outside. And they was bullying him for that too.” She wiped at her eyes again.
Torey was nine years old, we learned. He took his grandfather’s shotgun, went into his closet, and blew his brains out.
Bullying and Bullycide: What to Look for
Bullying is a serious and growing problem and as this case shows, Bullycide, the catastrophic result, effects everyone. Children of every social status and every background face bullying on a daily basis, often facing the torment in isolation, a feeling which only grows as the bully tears down their self-worth.
Advanced Bio Treatment does not want your family to face what Torey’s family had to face. Nine years old is far too young to think you have no way out; far too young to face down the end of a shotgun barrel. As bullying becomes more prevalent, younger and younger children are confronted with terror awaiting them in the halls of their school; younger and younger children are pushed to bullycide.
If you are a parent or work closely with children, be aware that kids won’t always tell you they are bullied.
Often, the bully has convinced them that complaining to an adult will only make things worse or the child may feel so alone and isolated that they won’t reach out on their own.
They may also have already tried to tell an adult and received no relief from the bullying. In these cases, your ability to spot the red flags can mean the all the difference for a child suffering alone.
Know the warning signs and look for them:
- Unexplainable injuries.
- Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry.
- Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking illness.
- Changes in eating habits.
- Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares.
- Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school.
- Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations.
- Feelings of helplessness or decreased self-esteem.
- Self-destructive behaviors such as running away from home, harming themselves, or talking about suicide.
Source: StopBullying.gov – Warning Signs
We hope you never face what Torey’s family faced, that you never have to see bullycide first hand, and we have therefore provided bullying resources at the bottom of this article. If you do need us, Advanced Bio Treatment has compassionate professionals standing by 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You can reach us at 800-295-1684.
Bullying Resources:
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