⋅Senior Abuse – Helen’s Story: The Continuation⋅
Click here to read Part 1 of Helen’s story.
After Helen moved into Pat’s home, Kay went to see Helen every week, and one day, Helen was unusually edgy and finally handed Kay a business card, which Helen had hidden in her Bible, and begged Kay not to tell Pat.
“A social worker was here last week asking me if anyone is abusing me, and, of course, I said ‘no.’”
“What? You need to tell me everything, Mom. Is anyone hitting you or hurting you in any way?”
“No, absolutely not,” Helen replied.
“Then why was a social worker here? What else did the social worker say?”
“She just asked me if I was okay, what I was eating, if anyone was hurting me.”
“Mom, something isn’t right. Social workers don’t just appear out of nowhere. Someone called social services. What else did she say?”
“Oh, yes, she did say something about my bank account.”
“What? What did she say?”
“I don’t remember. Something about $3,000.”
Kay froze, the way you freeze when a catastrophic avalanche is ripping right toward you.
“Ok, Mom. I’ll take care of this. Don’t worry.”
The Catastrophic Avalanche of Senior Abuse
Kay called the social worker, who was rude and snapped, “I was told that you’re not even in the picture” and then hung up. Pat’s brainwashing had reached far and wide.
Kay called back and begged the social worker to listen to her. The social worker arranged to meet Kay and her mother a few days later. Kay lied to Pat and told Pat that she was taking her mother to lunch.
“I can’t tell you who filed the senior abuse complaint,” the social worker said, “but if I were you, I’d get to the bank immediately.”
Kay took her mother to the bank, where Kay learned that her mother’s account was frozen because it was severely overdrawn. Eighteen months ago, Pat had set up her own account into which she transferred Helen’s pensions and social security deposits every month. Then Pat withdrew the money with her ATM card. Pat had also emptied Helen’s 401K.
“How could this happen? Pat has no permissions or signature cards on these accounts!” Kay cried.
The vice president of the bank gently pushed a document across her desk to Kay. It was a power of attorney giving Tim and Pat full control of Helen’s finances.
“Tim and Pat took me to a lawyer’s office and told me to sign it so that they could pay my bills for me,” Helen said.
Kay immediately took her mother to another lawyer and had Helen give Kay full power of attorney. Kay then spent weeks collecting Helen’s mail and calling creditors.
Pat had paid none of Helen’s bills and had helped Helen take out a line of equity on her paid-off home, had run the line of equity to its $50,000 limit, and had made no payments on it.
The house was in foreclosure, a fact Pat naively hoped to conceal by moving Helen into her own home. The house also had a $4,000 tax lien on it. When you withdraw money from a 401K, the withdrawals are taxed like income, and Pat never paid those taxes.
Kay took her power of attorney to the drug store and asked for a list of Helen’s medications. The prescriptions cost over $1,000 a month and Pat paid for them with Helen’s credit card, on which Helen now owed almost $10,000, and which was in collection for non-payment.
Most disturbing, the most expensive prescription was for 360 Oxycodone pills every month.
Kay took her power of attorney to Helen’s doctor.
“Why are you prescribing my mother such a lethal dose of pain medication?” Kay wanted to know.
The doctor grew hostile and asked Kay what business this was of hers and said something very similar to what the social worker had said. “From what I understand, you’re not even in the picture!”
Kay took Helen to another doctor who tenderly held Helen’s hands in his and gently asked Helen what condition she took the Oxycodone for.
After a long pause, Helen said, “I really don’t know.”
Kay sat down with Helen and asked her exactly how many pain pills she took every day.
“Six. I get two in the morning, two at lunch, at two at night. Sometimes I don’t need the ones at night.”
That adds up to 180 pills a month. Where were the other 180 pills going every month?
“Pat says you take 12 pain pills a day, Mom, and that you’re addicted to this medication. Are you sure you take only 6?”
Helen was shocked. “I know I take only 4 to 6 pills because Pat gives them to me two at a time with each meal.”
Kay spoke with her own doctor, who verified that 12 Oxycodone pills a day over a period of years would “fry your liver.” He said Helen would be “completely out of it most of the time” if she took that much Oxycodone.
Kay called the DEA. Before she even finished asking her questions, the officer said to her, “This is common. We see it all the time. What they do is steal the older person’s medication and sell it. Those pills have a street value of at least $10 each.”
Pat’s son, a convicted felon recently released from prison, was selling the pills and splitting the profits with Pat.
Armed with weeks of research, Kay confronted Tim and Pat. After a terrible screaming match, Pat dissolved in pretend-tears while Tim made feeble excuses for her. They begged Kay not to prosecute them.
Kay had to file bankruptcy for Helen, who had to appear in court several times. The ordeal exhausted and emotionally drained Helen.
Over the next few months, Kay saved over $10,000 of Helen’s income, moved Helen back into her own home, and hired a nursing assistant to care for her.
But the devastation of this betrayal had taken a heavy toll, and a week after moving, Helen got out of bed one night to go to the bathroom. She had a massive heart attack and collapsed in her own vomit and feces, unable to move.
Kay rushed to her mother’s house when she got the call from the nursing assistant.
“I want to die,” Helen said as Kay knelt next to her on the bathroom floor.
The first responders referred Kay to Advanced Bio Treatment. She hired us to clean Helen’s room so that Kay could be with her mother at the hospital and so Helen could return to a safe, clean home.
But Helen never came home. She died, heartbroken and shamed, 10 days later.
If you know of or suspect senior abuse, please don’t wait. Early intervention could save a precious life. Please report your suspicions immediately. We have listed some helpful resources below.
What Are the Warning Signs of Senior Abuse?
Physical and behavioral indicators:
- Suspicious explanations for or unexplained cuts, bruises, welts, burns, discoloration
- Loss of weight, signs of dehydration or malnutrition
- Dirty or soiled clothes
- Lack of medical aids such as hearing aids or canes
- Fear, withdrawal, resignation, unresponsiveness
- Depression
- Confusion or disorientation
- Conflicting, implausible, or contradictory statements and stories
- Anger, anxiety, agitation
- Denial
Caregiver and financial indicators:
- Caregiver not allowing the senior to speak for him or herself
- Caregiver not allowing the senior time alone with friends or family
- Caregiver blaming and accusing the senior
- Caregiver insulting or threatening the senior
- Caregiver has alcohol or drug problems
- Personal items missing from the senior’s home
- Suspicious signatures on the senior’s checks
- Caregiver refusing to spend money on the senior; unpaid bills when caregiver is responsible for paying bills
Who Is Most at Risk For Senior Abuse?
Seniors who:
- Are disabled
- Have dementia
- Are lonely, isolated, depressed
- Do not understand and / or manage their finances well
- Have family members with financial needs or drug and alcohol abuse problems
- Live with the abuser
Who Are the Abusers?
The vast majority of abusers, about 90%, are family members who typically
- Feel burdened by caregiving responsibilities
- Abuse drugs and alcohol
- Are mentally or emotionally ill
- Depend on the senior person for financial help
We are Advanced Bio Treatment. We are here for you 24 hours every day of the year. Should you need our services, please call us at 800-295-1684.
Senior Abuse Resources:
National Council on Child Abuse and Family Violence – State Senior Abuse Hotlines: Get connected to resources in your state with the directory of Senior Abuse hotlines.
National Center On Elder Abuse – Frequently Asked Questions: Find answers to your questions on Senior Abuse and find resources to help.
National Committee for the Prevention of Elder Abuse – Financial Abuse: Learn what the financial aspect of senior abuse is, what the signs are and how you can help, with resources to assist you in stopping the abuse.
HelpGuide.org – Elder Abuse and Neglect: Discover the warning signs, risk factors, prevention methods, and how to report senior abuse.
Related Reading:
