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I pride myself on being able to tackle some of the most disgusting jobs without so much as flinching.

But I am only human and sometimes a job is horrific enough to make me want to reveal what I had for lunch at high velocity.

Ironically, it’s not the decomposing bodies that have been left unattended for weeks that marinade in their own juices, playing host to a buffet that is visited by thousands of flies and maggots that gets me to that point.

Nor is it the jobs we do that involve a person saying “I’ve had enough” and putting their last thought on the ceiling with the aid of a bullet that gets my stomach churning to this kind of level I speak of.

As gross as hoarding jobs can be, with their collection of trash that forms a maze around the property that is sometimes dotted with petrified animal remains, they aren’t the ones that make me fight my urge to blow chunks.

The worst jobs for me involve what we call “severe gastrointestinal distress”. If you aren’t familiar with what I’m speaking of, I’ll break it down. Explosive, bloody poop.

I was so proud of myself for not losing my lunch with a call we received from our Tampa/Orlando office one day.

The homeowner (we’ll call her Anne) called us panicked after a very unsettling emergency situation had occurred in her house. She didn’t know who to turn to for scene remediation but she knew she needed someone and fast.

We took her details and asked what happened and she explained in great detail what transpired. Apparently Anne’s daughter and her fiancee had decided to pay Anne a visit from Pittsburgh to check out her newly constructed retirement home in Winter Park, Florida.

The three of them spent the evening catching up and decided to grab a movie and some food from a new Thai restaurant that opened nearby and make it a night in. Everything was going well until about midnight.

What happened around midnight as Anne explained was that she had heard a commotion from the guest room that her daughter and fiancee were spending the night in. She crept closer to the door, trying to hear what was going on to make sure that everything was alright when suddenly Anne’s daughter threw open the door in absolute hysterics, screaming for an ambulance. It seems that her future husband was in the bathroom going into convulsions in a pool of his own liquefied, bloody stool.

We loaded up and headed to the scene. Once we got there it was more horrific than I could imagine. I’ve cleaned up homicides and suicides for years. I’ve raised children. I’ve had more than my fair share of nasty things happen on or near me but none of that could have prepared me for the odor that awaited me at that doorway.

The stench was vile. I felt my stomach clench up and try to add its contents to this foul pool but I’m a professional and was able to keep it together. Even in my head I wondered if we’d be able to rid this place of the stench. Granted the mess was contained to the bathroom but the smell had seemingly made its way into every nook and cranny in the house. No wonder she had looked so upset once we arrived.

Once we had steeled our nerves we got to work tackling all the blood and stool, making sure to check our progress thoroughly. The worst part of the initial clean up was having to unclog the toilet and remove all the used toilet paper by hand so it could be properly disposed of in a biohazard waste container.

Once that was done we had prayed the worst was over and thankfully it was. After a couple more days we finished cleaning and sanitizing the scene and made sure we used one of our Ozone machines to eliminate any trace of the scent, even on a molecular level.

Once we were done, Anne was so ecstatic that she even waved and blew kisses from her front porch as we drove away leaving another homeowner excited to be able to reclaim their home.

Quick side note: We found out what happened to the fiancee to cause such a catastrophe. Peanuts. Peanut allergy from the Thai food kept him in the hospital for over a week. Talk about shitty luck.

Scenes like this are a perfect example on why you should never attempt to clean up a scene on your own. So many invisible dangers lurk in the bodily fluids that can cause severe harm to humans if not cleaned properly. That’s why if you are ever in need of a crime or accident scene clean up you should take no chances and call the professionals at Advanced Bio Treatment.

Available around the clock for all your clean up needs, feel free to call today for any questions concerning services, insurance billing or advice at 800-295-1684

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Ted Pelot Owner & President of Crime Scene Cleanup Company - Advanced Bio-Treatment